(looking back, Raeven could have crossed she just chose not to. people shouldn’t have unsafe sex. better to wait for marriage and keep God first) That way we remain Free in Christ)

New beginnings

Raeven wished Raeven had considered starting her nonprofit. It had always been a dream.

To offer encouragement. No one does it anymore. But what about the messages of pearls to swine? Was that what this was all about. Talking to people who would never hear and or value her.

Raeven love kindness and not having to yell at people, being kind because she can and soft-spoken. There was so much good that could be done in the world.

But then at times like this Raeven have to appear tough.

More than others it seemed

Who cave on their dreams at the first sign of a threat or injury. Not like those women with broken hearts who choose to appear here as victims do their entire lives. Raeven hated being a victim of anything.

Raeven had to step her game up and appear to be Raeven on her best

Soo, Raeven did

It wouldn’t be easy

Except when they were all needy people who appeared to be liar’s thief’s leaches and more around Raeven

But the children they were the ones getting lost in the middle of this mind battlefield

Searching through her pros and cons.

What’s fair. To be left behind or to move ahead and choose to take care of the children

Raeven glad that you kept us around positive influences and kept us from the hurt and pain.

Raeven wished Raeven could have saved you from the pain that followed.

Watching Raeven cry and fight and cry and fight. That must have been hard.

Her sheer will had died. Along with her faith. And at that moment, Raeven knew a piece of Raeven had died.

How to walk away before the walls all caved in around us

There Raeven was

There was Blaine who was consistently trying to make Raeven Leave her hopes and dreams. Settle on him while he lived his seemingly double life with lies.

Then there was Her lack of support from blood relatives.

On the blessings side, there was

a client base that seemed out of this world.

The best contract. Raeven spent 20 years of her life building this business and blessing all the relationships built.

There was no one to pass things on to if Raeven died

so why give in without a fight.

at her fingertips

and zero supporting Raeven to keep Raeven and things going.

After the economy fell it appeared that Raeven was going down with it.

Raeven tried to swim but it became apparent that Raeven would have to supplement to pay her housing and admin. It also appeared that Raeven would need help with carrying the support and positive consistent environment for her kids.

It appeared that no conflict was needed in order to move forward

Anger and hatred and resentment began.

It welled up inside Raeven like a battlefield in her mind. Raeven was prepared to end it with Rage but Christ has made Raeven bear witness to love and forgiveness.

Raeven hated that Raeven had this conflict. Held even within her own mind.

Raeven reflected on the many relationships Raeven had built and there was nil support. At least non-that Raeven could find