Oct 19 2012

Angel called to check in on Raeven.

Still organizing a bit each day.

Raeven got a mailbox key from Gale today, finally after all these months.

.

Céline had her PTA conference today. That went well.

Spoke to Yoyo it was good catching up to a relative of mines/ Raeven lover her life. We are going to hook up soon. It’s nice to feel connected.

Saturday, October 27

Blaine brought over money for Suzy’s party. Raeven let Theresa S use the vacuum cleaner. Kids are at Suzy’s bday party. Raeven not feeling very social but Raeven will stop by anyway. Raeven just really enjoying the quiet. S

Raeven is trying to cope with all of the changes. All happening at once around Raeven. Trying to refocus so Raeven can get back out in the field.

Raeven still has a lot of letting go today. But Raeven not sure how to. It seems like Raeven has been through too much, but Raeven can make it through.

3pm girls still at Malesh’s for the party.

Letting go of her pain is not easy.

Looking through all the notes and journals from 2009 on

8pm Blaine is back and forth from her place to Roland and Gale’s/ things are getting weird. Raeven doesn’t know why a hunch maybe.  They are the ones to look out for. Malesh in 108 says she thinks they stole pills from her apartment.

Raeven is going through old Phelps family photos. Raeven may have needed this time to reflect.

Raeven wonder what God is preparing Raeven for. Raeven trying to stay focused on work but this really has Raeven thrown.

Monday, Oct 29 2012

Meg is here. She too could use some encouragement and support.

All the kids are here playing after school. They are all some. Raeven loves listening to their laughter. 7pm Storytime for all the kids. This is fun

October 31 2012

emails re support for keeping up with rent and bills. Raeven needs legs to get Raeven back out in the field.

Raeven is taking the kids to UGM Halloween party tonight.

Thinking of the possible child care possibilities and transport strategies.

Doesn’t seem there is any available.

Thursday, Nov 2 2012

Raeven has good positive energy. Prepping herself for sales calls and leads.

Malesh was supposed to do her hair, but she has not called Raeven back or responded. She had server back pain so Raeven told her in exchange for the 1 hr. the massage she would do her hair. That’s a $50 value at least but friendship must be free. Oh and trust.

Trying to think positive but clearly, she isn’t feeling supportive towards her cause. Raeven have 3 appoints set up for Raeven and Raymond.

More research on healthy friendships.

Raevens research yields Power and Control Wheels

In learning harmful abusive and violent relationships, power and control are apparently repeatedly misused against a girlfriend, boyfriend, family member, or peer. looking at some examples of being physical, verbal, and sexually abuse domineers or taken advantage of by violence self-serving and forceful others.

Raeven becomes leary of others with these traits as she begins to notice them more and more on many of the people around her. And also the women that have higher tolerances of allowing it.

Raeven had no idea what was coming. This all felt bigger than her.

all converted 3/5/19

(looking back, Raeven could have crossed she just chose not to. people shouldn’t have unsafe sex. better to wait for marriage and keep God first) That way we remain Free in Christ)

New beginnings

Raeven wished Raeven had considered starting her nonprofit. It had always been a dream.

To offer encouragement. No one does it anymore. But what about the messages of pearls to swine? Was that what this was all about. Talking to people who would never hear and or value her.

Raeven love kindness and not having to yell at people, being kind because she can and soft-spoken. There was so much good that could be done in the world.

But then at times like this Raeven have to appear tough.

More than others it seemed

Who cave on their dreams at the first sign of a threat or injury. Not like those women with broken hearts who choose to appear here as victims do their entire lives. Raeven hated being a victim of anything.

Raeven had to step her game up and appear to be Raeven on her best

Soo, Raeven did

It wouldn’t be easy

Except when they were all needy people who appeared to be liar’s thief’s leaches and more around Raeven

But the children they were the ones getting lost in the middle of this mind battlefield

Searching through her pros and cons.

What’s fair. To be left behind or to move ahead and choose to take care of the children

Raeven glad that you kept us around positive influences and kept us from the hurt and pain.

Raeven wished Raeven could have saved you from the pain that followed.

Watching Raeven cry and fight and cry and fight. That must have been hard.

Her sheer will had died. Along with her faith. And at that moment, Raeven knew a piece of Raeven had died.

How to walk away before the walls all caved in around us

There Raeven was

There was Blaine who was consistently trying to make Raeven Leave her hopes and dreams. Settle on him while he lived his seemingly double life with lies.

Then there was Her lack of support from blood relatives.

On the blessings side, there was

a client base that seemed out of this world.

The best contract. Raeven spent 20 years of her life building this business and blessing all the relationships built.

There was no one to pass things on to if Raeven died

so why give in without a fight.

at her fingertips

and zero supporting Raeven to keep Raeven and things going.

After the economy fell it appeared that Raeven was going down with it.

Raeven tried to swim but it became apparent that Raeven would have to supplement to pay her housing and admin. It also appeared that Raeven would need help with carrying the support and positive consistent environment for her kids.

It appeared that no conflict was needed in order to move forward

Anger and hatred and resentment began.

It welled up inside Raeven like a battlefield in her mind. Raeven was prepared to end it with Rage but Christ has made Raeven bear witness to love and forgiveness.

Raeven hated that Raeven had this conflict. Held even within her own mind.

Raeven reflected on the many relationships Raeven had built and there was nil support. At least non-that Raeven could find

Monday, August 27th 2012

Trying to put together a schedule for Raeven and the girls. Planning September and October. Raeven made much progress today. Raeven needs a break and some peace and quiet.

Raeven had a series of broken dreams, searching for changes. Raeven feels like Raeven is lost and running nowhere. Raeven needs to change her thoughts and ramp up the beauty around Raeven.

Tuesday

Raeven have to focus on loving life. How are you doing today?

Working today, making phone calls, bills to pay

3pm       Malesh is crying still emotionally unstable. She says Raeven am the only person she has to talk to. JoJo came by.

The crazies are out today so please protecting herself. Céline is going to Sherea’s house for dinner.

416pm  Raeven put a “do not disturb” sign on her door.

5pm    Raeven keeps getting disturbed. Val and Malesh keep coming over. Her daughter Shae is on her couch. Everybody is here. The more Raeven keep trying to push away the more they keep coming.

Blaine came by and asked if Raeven would go on a date with him. He says he is single, he is not married but Raeven senses. Sneaky …auk. Raeven told him Raeven would rather wait on God. It seems like he is lying to Raeven and others as well. Raeven told him Raeven don’t need to live under that Raeven have too much pressure already.

John her neighbor who Raeven saw in the parking lot, says he is used to this sales thing and wants to know and he wants to come over later and see if he can help.

Malesh got a huge driving ticket.

Raeven don’t know? Allowing each day to come with making positive decisions is the only way Raeven know how. Depending on god. Raeven have to be strong. Raeven keeps thinking Raeven need someone to come along to be strong for Raeven, but that person never shows up.

Her goal is to trust God, but Raeven doesn’t know what that means.

Now, two more men are fighting for her attention. Chris and James Fashi are both requesting attention. Is it smart to just walk by then? Are they just more to distract her from her career goals. No more people fighting.

Friday, August 31st 2012

Raeven has a full calendar for September. James called and asked if he could come by. Raeven said Raeven was in a bad mode and might not want to come by, he said it was ok just needed time with Raeven, he had a bad day. Val, James and Raeven went out for some food and hung out for a while.

Malesh did her hair in exchange for some babysitting. Roland and Gale called to ask Raeven who the black guy was coming over and Raeven told them it was James. He asked if his car was parked in #12 spot? Raeven said no, he drives a Lexus. Raeven is so sick and tired of them being nosey, Raeven quits! Raeven have to move forward Raeven have to get out of here.

September 1st 2012

Raeven needs to prioritize and relax. Val said she wants to do Bible study and Blaine too. So, we set up a Bible study meeting. This will be exciting our first community Bible study, Raeven doesn’t know what it is going to look like. It seems that Bible study is just another way for people to suck up her time and energy.

September 5th 2012

Super nervous, stressed out, Raeven needs childcare for after school. Nothing around Raeven is stable. Raeven called to see if Raeven could get the Y for after-school care, but it’s too expensive.

The idea of college keeps popping up. That would be fun if Raeven could get coverage from the business. Raeven gave her neighbors a thank you card and a small box of candy to thank them for friendship and kindness. Hoping this will pave the way to a little bit more freedom and community cooperation when it comes to Raeven working from home.

Raeven would love to go to college. Her parents were never taught how to raise a child, and Raeven would love to be an example for her kids. Most of the people Raeven know are struggling with relationships with income and life in general. Raeven is still sending out blessings to the people that Raeven know hoping that this will add to community support. systems Raeven am learning patience from dealing with all of these people but will not tolerate anything negative in these walls.

The environment is already fragile and needs truth positivity and upbuilding. It seems that both Roland and Blaine are trying to emotionally control Raeven. Raeven told them Raeven will not talk to them or tolerate anything. boldly speaking up for Raeven kids and self, about anything else negative that Raeven has to focus to keep up with the business.

Friday, September 7th 2012

Bible study flowed really well. Looks like Val is in charge.

Saturday, September 8th

The girls and Raeven hung out together. Raeven feel like we have made massive progress this week. Thank you, Lord, Raeven remember being amazed by all of the people Raeven was surrounded by, Raeven felt unfit to lead them.

Malena is singing and dancing. Raeven is making waffles. Céline is going to get cookies. Malena is still singing and dancing.

940pm  having soup and bread for dinner. It’s nice to have the sound of laughter, it makes Raeven know that everything is going to be okay. Surrounded by her children and God makes Raeven feel peace in life. Shutting out the chaos in the world just to get through the day, Raeven really needs a vacation.

Joy in sorrow, Raeven have no strength left anymore, Raeven must just be tired, sleep now.

Monday, September 10th 2012

Raeven made one hundred phone calls, Raeven shut her doors. Raeven was serious.

Tuesday, September 11th 2012

Raeven found out that Val was gay today. That backrub now began to take on a new meaning. She hoped it wasn’t misread. But think positive. Raeven told Val and Malesh that Raeven had to set up boundaries and mentioned her sign on the door. They both agreed that it would be good to have since Raeven needed to get work done.

Wednesday, September 12th 2012

Raeven wish, Raeven wish, Raeven wish

Raeven loves these ideas of Jesus and a God who saves us?

Raeven understands more later.

Thursday, August 16th 2012

Client calls all day. Avoiding the craziness of the lives of others.

Friday, August 17th 2012

Raeven has so much to do, but others want attention and pose as a threat and a distraction. But to be kind without hurting anyone’s feelings, she must make time to get work done.

Blaine called and woke Raeven up. Said he wants to go to a movie.

Organizing the schedule for the school year. Wondering how the kids will do walking home from school if Raeven is not home. Malena has been very good at keeping track of her house key. Raeven got invited to speak at her first women’s event on August 28th. Raeven will need an assistant. Val offered to go with Raeven. There is hope after all. Raeven would love things to settle down a bit.

Sunday, August 19th 2012

5pm       Blaine called Raeven and Raeven am babysitting. Raeven asked Blaine about his kid’s mother and why she was suddenly so interested in his and Raeven relationships? He said that he did not want to discuss it with Raeven. Raeven got a bunch of stuff out her chest. Raeven told him that he was full of crap and that Raeven was pissed at him.

515pm  All of the kids are in the room, six kids eating noodles and playing video games. Suzy and Raeven are reading “lady and the tramp’, Malesh just left. Raeven was wondering what it feels like to have family that size, even though the times are tough. I mean they were a handful but a cool bunch of kids.  It seems like Raeven will never know. Malesh says that she might want to get baptized and that it might help her life a bit.

Raeven needs a ten-day fast from the negative people around Raeven. But it seems there is nowhere to escape. Still, Raeven has not found her house keys.

Raeven is grateful to God for opening her eyes and her heart and for never abandoning Raeven. These have been some eye-opening days. Who would have ever thought Raeven would have had these experiences?

Monday, August 20th 2012

The kid’s school is having an open house to get them ready for school. Blaine called and seemed malicious. James called Raeven to tell Raeven that he has some school supplies for the kids. He is bringing them over today.

Wednesday, August 22nd 2012

Céline needs her locker, set up PTA, Céline needs a locker card, Raeven set up St. Matthews for the after-school program. Busy day.

5pm       her back hurts, trying to stay positive. The kids are here. Raeven is hoping that Raeven can get back to work. Allen called and said we have a meeting in Colorado. And Raeven told him Raeven probably won’t be able to make it; her life is still not back to normal yet. Allen reminded Raeven to send him her terminated Reps list.

August 23rd 2012

Went to McClinton to meet with Sophia, Céline’s counsellor. Met the basketball coach. The kids are going to hang with Theresa S for a couple of hours. Allen and Raeven are going to go close some deals.

11am     Céline and Malena are talking to their Dad.

1145am Allen just called and confirmed our meeting at the Home Depot with the employees, speaking to them about retirement.

1pm       Raeven called Blaine, he didn’t pick up. Raeven wanted him to ask Roland to stop tripping he is being hateful and apparently, he wants Raeven to care about his state of emotions and wellbeing, but even is only concerned with getting out of this hell pit. Raeven is too busy and stressed. They have no idea what it’s going to take for Raeven to go back to work full time. Raeven have seventy-five plus account updates. That is her focus today. Raeven promised Raeven would get them done by Saturday.

Thursday, August 23rd 2012

5pm

Meg is here, finally, Raeven feels better, a sane person. She says Raeven did the right thing by putting everyone out of her apartment that night and that Raeven should have done it sooner.

Today’s meeting for business was good. Charles set up three appointments, Raeven had to yell at everyone just to get back control of her own residence, so now everyone is looking at Raeven as though Raeven am the one that is crazy.

The girls and Raeven had dinner. They asked Raeven why Raeven was being mean to everybody. Raeven told them that Mommy is sick and tired of everybody and Raeven have a lot of work to do to get our life back. Raeven feels like a retard trying to deal with all of these people. More time with the girls, less time meeting the neighbors.

Friday

Knock, knock, knock. Theresa S is bringing Raeven coffee and Gale is trailing right behind her looking for answers. Jim picked up Céline and they went to IHOP for breakfast. Today Raeven need to relax her brain. Raeven should focus on the laughter of the children. Gale said that Roland is going to the hospital. There wedding is on October 2nd and he wants Blaine and Raeven to stand in for them. Raeven is exhausted but Raeven feels that Raeven should at least let Blaine know that he was asked. Raeven left him a message. Blaine called back and said he wants to do a Bible study with Raeven. He thinks her, he is going to need it.

Saturday 25th 2012

Theresa S brought Raeven coffee. Raeven told her Raeven couldn’t take the constant traffic. Once the school year started Raeven really need to get back to work. We spoke about forgiveness for our neighbor’s weaknesses. Just then, Roland and Gale came by to tell Raeven about the hospital visit. They wanted Raeven to tell Blaine Hello for them. Raeven told Roland Raeven needed to stop the constant traffic if Raeven was going to get back to work. Raeven put Roland out of her apartment after that, for putting Raeven down as a business person. It seems that he doesn’t even want Raeven to try. It seems that they just want Raeven to sit here and not go back to her work. They don’t realize that Raeven has worked hard for twenty years. Roland tells Raeven that Raeven is too naïve for business. And that Raeven cannot be a competent business persona if Raeven is not having sex. He says that Raeven should submit to Blaine, be tolerant and patient with him. Raeven feels like he is trying to use Blaine’s romantic notions to control Raeven. Since he said all of that, Raeven just asked him to leave. Raeven doesn’t know what is wrong with these people. It just feels like spiritual warfare. Raeven want the games to stop! Raeven want people to stop knocking on her door and distracting Raeven!  Gale came back later on and apologized for Roland. Raeven told her Raeven was doing Bible study. She asked if she could do it with Raeven. We read Mark. Raeven told her that Raeven had a lot of work to do, Raeven had to organize her files and Raeven was terrified that it was going to take all of Raeven. Jim’s mom sent dinner some with all of the kids.

Sunday, August 26th 2012

The girls are going to church with Corrin they have that huge van.

Raeven needs complete focus, everyone in this building knows that Raeven have a deadline and Raeven need to focus.

Come on team six more sales, we can do it!

Céline told Raeven that she is a warrior/leader/ninja princess. Helping to keep her kids on track is the most important thing to Raeven. This environment is serious spiritual warfare, Raeven cannot focus. Roland is ignorant. Something about him makes Raeven want to change him and makes Raeven want to be a better leader. Not that Raeven thinks Raeven can change him but the way he sees the world is very small and narrow. He doesn’t get any of the things that Raeven male conversation with him about. And he seems to want Raeven to teach him how. Raeven must ignore him completely, he is a bully and goes psycho when things do not go his way.

Malesh came by for a minute.

Wednesday, August 15th

It has been a fun Summer but looking back at all of the people around Raeven does not seem like a mixture for success.

Still reading Matthew 22

Raeven have to put God first. The people around Raeven don’t know what that means, but we are also supposed to love our neighbors. Raeven not sure what to do. Raeven is going to also read Daniel after dinner.

Raeven spoke to her Mom, Alycia and gave her an update. It’s too bad she doesn’t want to come over and help with the girls. That would help a lot.

8:45 pm               Picking up laundry. Malesh is in a foul mood.

Raeven prays for her neighbors. Roland is the hardest person to pray for. The Bible says to pray for her enemies between him and Frank Raeven don’t know what to do. Those are two people whom Raeven could totally live without now. Raeven? Doing her very best to make the right choices. Trying to hang in there and have a positive attitude. Gale is coaching Raeven to hang in there with Blaine. Raeven realize though if Raeven had a family or any kind of a future with him that would make Raeven a “crazy person”. He has no foundation and some deep problems relationally. Problems that I didn’t care to involve my children in. it was hell living there and this was turning into a nightmare too. I don’t like to get involved in long-term relationships on that unstable of a foundation.

940pm  Raeven spoke with Roland about being fair, honest and treating people fairly. He says, “what do Raeven know?!”

10pm     Girls are going to bed. Malena and Céline are amazing, smart and funny. They make friends everywhere they go. If Raeven is going to be ready to relaunch the company Raeven got to have all three of her staff trained on the phones before December. Raeven supposes Raeven will play to her strengths and pray that God will supply Raeven with the rest.

Blaine just called and said that he really loves Raeven. Raeven don’t know what any of this means? It doesn’t look like he is going to let Raeven go anytime emotionally soon.

It seems Roland and Gale are in cahoots with him to let him run her life. They don’t know about his baby’s momma and the phone calls that Raeven been getting. Raeven feels trapped. Blaine wants Raeven to keep his secrets. Why is Raeven here? It feels like being trapped in a lie, other people’s lives, not even her own! Raeven been through abuse from as early as Raeven can remember, Raeven have to escape from the crazies. Raeven keep praying that it is in God’s hands. James called Raeven today out of the blue to say hi. He said that Raeven doesn’t sound happy. Raeven not, but Raeven didn’t tell him that. she just kept quiet. but the relationships men always get bossier more demanding more emotionally abusive. Subtlety not answering calls disappearing acts for days at a time uncommunicable.

Trying to think like a mother. Raeven doesn’t know, never had one, what is so dysfunctional about his life. Raeven did know. But can Raeven help her children have better, more moral life choices in partnerships and support networks? A better moral value, character ole model kinds of people. Raeven doesn’t know. Everyone is struggling and Raeven is unsure, where to turn.

It seems that her refusal to break Gods law is being met with all sorts of opposition. Raeven have been called a goody two shoe. She thinks she is perfect and everything else. The managers are the worst when it comes to the put-downs and the insults. tying to believe, Raeven needs to trust somebody if Raeven going to be able to make it out of these apartments. But who can Raeven trust her kids to be around? Raeven feels like Raeven can trust a few of the women here’s, but things are still really hectic and chaotic. Some women’s spouses have questionable character habits. Her children are confused enough about having to move around and the disconnect between family. Raeven can’t imagine what this must do to a child who recognizes the brokenness. Raeven just wants to give then=m stability and a foundation. Something Raeven now realizes Raeven don’t have. All Raeven have is Jehovah God. Its literally all Raeven have.

Raeven have to be grateful. We made it this far. We may as well stay faithful and keep trying. Raeven feels a great sense of loss within friendships. Everything and everyone Raeven thought Raeven had Raeven didn’t really, they were just for the season, not really meant to be here long term Raeven guess. Just poof vanished into thin air. Raeven reaches out every now and again but Raeven feels like Raeven is part of no one’s lives. Since Raeven has no family, Raeven have no relationships with anyone. It feels like a real loss Raeven must have someone.

Trying to make something out of nothing. Trying to build a mansion out of the rubble that is her life.

What’s next. No good news. The chaos gets worse. Far worse.

converted 3/5/19

Tuesday, July 3 2012

Reginald is doing the top five contacts today. So, Raeven can hang out with the girls. Shara wants to see if Céline can come and hang out this week.

Ms Chen is coming over for dinner. The girls are now helping her with the baby. Her husband is never home always working.

Frank got mad again at Céline. And said that Raeven wasn’t supposed to know that he was having a baby. It seems like everyone is in chaos. Meg’s car is having trouble. Brother James is having work problems. Raeven took Gale the rent check and asked how Roland was again. Raeven cannot help but care about other people and their health. Raeven has got to separate other people’s problems and her surroundings and get help. It is so difficult to see so many people in need of care and support. Sheila came by and asked Raeven to babysit her twins. Raeven told her Raeven was too busy. Raeven needs a vacation. Raeven wants to go to the waterfront to watch the fireworks with the kids.

9 pm Sheila called Raeven crying about her boyfriend. Talking to the kids before bed about being considerate and respectful. Sent out some final positive and encouraging Facebook messages.

Wednesday, July 4 2012

Raeven and Ms Chen are going to do something with the kids for the fourth of July. Marlesh is going to do her hair. Raeven gave her forty dollars. Ms Chen wonderful. Her husband works for a fishing boat company. She says sea cucumbers can heal cancer.  Raeven didn’t question her.

August 10th 2012

315pm today Raeven woke up at 5am. Raeven is trying to imagine “teamwork”. Raeven put boxes in storage. Her Dad and his friends cleared out his garage yesterday and brought over more of her stuff. So, now her apartment is more packed than it was! Roland was outside and made a smart comment, “oh! More stuff?” Later Roland complained to Raeven that her Dad left more trash in the parking lot.

Theresa S and Raeven went to the store for pizza and ice cream for the kids.

. “nosey women”.

Blaine came over for a little bit and Gale, then Sheila and Val came too. It seems they were suddenly all eager to know what Blaine and Raeven had talked about when they were together. “nosey women”.

Saturday, August 11th 2012

Missy called to ask if she could take Raeven and girls to get backpacks for school. Raeven said ok and asked if she had room for Theresa S and her kids.

Reading Hosea 1:7

Missy came by around 10:45. Theresa S and Raeven drove Missy’s car, Missy drove Lianne’s car. Missy took us to a beautiful church in Issaquah. It was fun, kids did face painting and bouncy houses. It was a sunny beautiful day and Raeven met a nice couple there from Virginia and she gave Raeven her phone number.

3:40pm The Bosman’s are on their way to visit. It seems like Raeven has a new group of people.

5pm       Blaine, Sheila, Theresa S and kids were all hanging out.

10pm     Theresa S’s kids are staying over. Blaine wants to take Raeven to a movie.

Sunday, August 12th

Missy got the girls for church this morning. Blaine took Raeven out for breakfast. Jean and Charles are coming over at 1pm to do phone calls.

5pm       trying to this one-bedroom apartment Raeven have too much stuff. Missy brought the girls home early from church. Hanging out with Christy and Gale. We watched “Meet the Robinsons”

Reading Psalms 26

Everything in Raeven says ‘get out now’. Reading Ezekiel 24          trying to stay focused.

Monday, August 13th 2012

Calling Theresa S. We walked to Rite Aid and the grocery store. Raeven had a talk with the girls regarding Mom going back to work and respecting Mom’s schedule.

2:30 pm Charles came here. He is doing really good with phone calls. If we keep this up we will have a full calendar by the time school starts. Overall, Raeven like her friends. No hanging out today Raeven am just going to rest and read. Prepare herself for going back to work.

[Raeven beginning to clamp down on her tie and meeting backlash and disaster stems from Raeven asking for her own space and privacy to focus on the major transitions ahead… and beside her having too much stuff in the apartments…]

Blaine called never again and Raeven told him Raeven just needed to focus on getting back to work. He seemed very upset.

Céline and Malena wanted their friends to come over, but Raeven said no. They didn’t like that.

Drained and tired from debating with her kids by the time Charles got there.

Sheila’s crying all day and she dropped off her daughter, Suzy. Céline and Malena are playing.

Talking with Sheila, wondering why God allows bad things to happen. Her response was to tell her to focus only on the good and to leave the bad behind.

7pm       Val came over and said that Raeven must have given Malesh a good pep talk because Malesh feels better now. Raeven told her that Raeven was just sharing her personal life lessons and thought that it might help. Her goal is to focus on her family. Blaine had secrets that were for certain. Where all of these questions coming from,

though we had solved it but apparently things were heating up. Raeven told her that things were complicated but Raeven would call her later.

11pm     Theresa S called, her emotions are high and she said her husband is mean to her. It feels like it is spiritual warfare all around. Tomorrow Raeven needs to get the kids ready for the shift into school and decide who is going to do childcare.

Feeling emotionally empty. Everyone around Raeven has problems how am Raeven supposed to never have problems in this environment? Raeven realizes that the kids are all getting along very well, but when school starts there will be added pressures and Raeven need to be prepared for that. Missy says she is emotionally drained due to her Mom and Brother. Gale says she is coping with Roland. Christy is none months with an abusive boyfriend and a son. Why does everyone around Raeven have so many problems? Broken relationships are a common thing around here. Raeven is also realizing that no one is loyal to each other. Raeven should manage her emotions better if Raeven is going to make it through this thing.

Tuesday

Raeven decided Raeven should not ask anyone anything. Raeven seems to be too late though. People are knocking on her door all day long.

12noon Theresa S brought over freshly baked cinnamon rolls. Raeven told her thank you and got back to work.

Val and Charles came over to make phone calls today. September Calendar is slowly filling.

Blaine asked Raeven out for dinner. We read Matthew 22-23. Raeven spoke about ethics and why it was so important to live in an ethical environment.

converted 3/5/19

Tuesday, June 26 2012

Mammogram. Spoke with Reginald and Crystal to do a team meeting and make phone calls. Raeven is a bit anxious about the mammogram., a; Malesh wanted Raeven to meet one of her boyfriends. He seemed nice enough. Raeven just played with her twins. She shared with Raeven her Grandmother’s recipe for Peanut butter pie.

Reading Proverbs 16

Wednesday, June 27 2012

Raeven is in dire need of another person’s brain to launch this next project. Raeven tried to talk with Marlesh about it just since there was no one else available. That was pretty much a pointless experience.

11 pm Maresh took Raeven to the emergency room for a chest x-ray. It felt like her heart stopped. And it scared Raeven.

Thursday, June 28 2012

Home office called regarding paperwork. Marlesh called and said that her twins are stressing her out and she needs support. She is young but smart. There are so many people with potential here but Raeven fears no one will do anything with it.

Reading a book called, Coaching and Winning. It is a good book.

Her kids are being mean to Raeven. Raeven is going to go to sleep. Now. Physical therapy starts soon, her back hurts. Doing some appointment setting and some follow up. Behind the scenes, Raeven will need at least three people to make this system work. Raeven will keep track of our progress weekly.

Friday, June 29 2012

Raeven is hoping Raeven can motivate Sheila to use her skills for something other than boys. It may take her a while to process. Raeven got a chance to meet Theresa S’s mom. A nice lady. Raeven met Theresa S’s husband, a nice guy. But shows how Raeven didn’t know anything because he was beating her. Started laundry.

Saturday, June 30 2012

Paid rent to Roland and Gale. Roland asked Raeven who Raeven got her internet threw. Raeven didn’t tell him because they spread around her personal busy and Raeven don’t like that. Roland says Raeven am spoiled and situationally unaware. That was scary to Raeven. Raeven wondered why he was asking Raeven these questions? And what did he see that Raeven did not? Raeven is trying to maintain a positive relationship with them as well as the neighbors and also trying to rebuild her business. Raeven doesn’t know if this is going to work. Reginald and Raeven set up twenty appointments. We only saw five of them, however. That brought in enough to cover expenses for the month. Jim came over for dinner, Raeven did laundry. S

Sunday July1 2012

The theme for the month is, what if? What if Raeven wasn’t so scary? What if God put Raeven here for a reason? What if we all became great friends?

Reginald is coming over to make calls and the kids will play together. Her neighbor came downstairs. Elaine. She says she is selling her tv to pay for rent. Ouch! Most of the kids here don’t go to church. Raeven asked Theresa S if she wouldn’t mind Raeven taking her kids with her to Vacation Bible school. Raeven went to Roland and Gale’s to pay rent. Her mammogram came back normal. Sheila’s sister, Val said she wouldn’t mind helping and will input data for Raeven.

Monday, July 2,2012

Céline woke up at 4 am and said zombies were chasing her. Everyone was a zombie mom and they are all chasing us. Michael the maintenance guy came to look at the fridge but he couldn’t find a solution. The girls went to St. Matthews for lunch. And Céline came back saying that it was for poor people.

Her day of gratitude. If Raeven doesn’t focus on the things that were lacking Raeven will become depressed. Raeven will be grateful for our home, health and love. Reginald and Raeven are reading the BRE script. We assist today’s believers in becoming leaders. Her back still hurts.

Mark the maintenance guy mentioned that the owners have four properties, Roland mentioned that the owner’s wife has cancer. Raeven wonders why they tell people the owner’s personal business. It seems like that is a breach of personal privacy. Frank got made at Céline for texting him the word, “broski” and says that he thinks she is involved with drugs.  Raeven told him her kids don’t deal with drugs and that if he called more often, he would have better communication. Talking to him is difficult depending on his state of mind.

Raeven talked with Blaine today an told him what’s next, Raeven made her life about the attempt at raising healthy teens She wanted them to know how to think. And told him that Raeven feels uneasy because Raeven is surrounded by constant chaos. Calling Blaine when needing someone to talk to about personal thoughts problems o challenges is not paying off. It seems like she is still failing at coming to a clear solution for problems and challenges. Raeven want to know if he really wants to see her grow and get back on her feet? It’s not just Raeven trying to organize her life. Raeven have been in this apartment for five months and Raeven is the one trying to organize the apartment. Now people are trying to come to Raeven to communicate their problems. Raeven wants to help them, but all Raeven can do is pray for them. It breaks her heart to see so many broken families. Communication and kindness seem to be at a premium around here. Keep learning as you grow along, the world is becoming such a great big scary place. Much more complex than Raeven had originally thought.

converted 3/5/19

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton